God is in Life – unedited. Uncut, raw, not touched ‘up’.
He made us all full of all we see and feel and react to. When we come to Him, He does any and all of the editing, but notice He never wipes the brokenness of us away. He loves His broken children. .. scraped, bruised, ragged and used. Worn away by the winds of self-consciousness, like tunnels in rocky ravines. There is a beauty in it, though only He can see it. I think it’s because He, Himself is the only One never consumed by ‘self’.
I look at my brokenness and grieve. I’m learning how to rejoice in it only by looking at His wholeness. The Truth that He is complete makes brokenness obsolete. He is the expert… the only expert at making evil into good, broken weakness into strengthened completeness. I’m learning to let go more passionately than holding on. I don’t hold on to Him, His hand has never released me. The entirety of me fits in His hand… His strength of grip and steadfastness of holding me has never given me one reason to think I must hold on to Him. Let me qualify. ..I often buy into the false illusion that I have lost my grip on Him. .. that’s me unedited. But the truth that it is never me that needs to do the holding has been given to me to choose. When I let go, I surrender. Lay back into the Hand that has never let me go. Can I tell you what makes this surrender so inviting? Oh! How He loves me! Oh, how He loves us! Beautiful, rocking, cradling love. Delighting, adoring, can’t get enough of you – love. That is His heart towards me and you. His love is so fierce and true it holds us tighter and more jealously than anything we hold onto tighter than Him. If He ever intended to let us go… He never would have sent His Son. But He does let us tangle and thrash with the illusions we choose to think are better than Him… right there… always in His hands. He doesn’t toss us away in a fit of impatience. He waits. .. and waits. .. until our tantrum is over because He knows when we are done, the first thing we will see is Him. He has made sure of it.
Do you know how much He adores you… as Rich Mullens put it…He’s “knocked out” by you. Can’t and won’t live without you. Fierce is His Love. Holy, wild love. .. this is the One who made you… the One who is a waiting Warrior watching, holding, and bringing you home. Love rocks your world. .. do you see Him? Don’t mistake the lack of “feeling stable” as Him dropping you. It’s a sneaky trick of your mind. Stability to God is always in motion. Waiting isn’t inactive… not with Him… it’s wooing and moving and angling at all times to unblind your vision. Like shaking one awake from a nightmare. He is more determined than His enemy… and His will is the law of every realm of existence. It is being done! Your will and mine cannot stop His. And His is to love us. Unedited, uncut, raw, uncensored, beautiful mess that we are, unfathomly loved into broken beauty. All for Him. And because it’s all for Him and we know He is the ultimate giver. .. All for everything and everyone. Noone shares with everyone like God. He pours Himself out and pours us out. .. flowing, flowing, flowing… rivers of His love. Love isn’t a ‘gift of the Spirit’. .. it’s how we are made or better put what we’ve been made by.
How can it be that surrender to me
Feels like losing and breaking so strong?
How can it be that Your love strengthens me, when I seem to betray You all day long?
How can such love even exist?
My mind can not ponder such mystery as this.
But this new heart You’ve made
Has grown me some shade
And into Your hands I persist.
When will You stop?
I wonder out loud
How can You keep up this flow?
Of relentless pursuit
Until You’ve placed a robe all aglow.
Around my small frame
That quakes at Your Name
And You shoe my feet with Your own skin
What’s this on my hand?
A ring of Your plan
That reminds me relentless it’s true
There’s nothing so false
That harkens in loss
That does not transform me in gain
The enemy is fumin’
Because he’s a’loosin’
My mind now Yeshua has washed
My eyes crusted over
With the dust of my Lover
And now all I see is Your cost
You enter the lost
You become all my broken
And strengthen the pace of Your walk
You put Your arm over the shoulder
That would betray You over and over
And fold them into Your loyal heart
Grace is the exchange
For piece-meal and change
While You serve a feast on fine silver.
What kind of Love is this O, my God
That holds me so firmly in place?
“It’s simple my child, for you I Am wild, and I long to have you see My Face!”
Grace and peace in Yeshua the Messiah
1 Samuel 25: 23-31
When Avigayil (Abigail) saw David, she hurried to dismount from her donkey, and fell on her face in front of David and bowed down to the ground. Having fallen at his feet she said, “It’s all my fault, my lord, all my fault! Please let your servant speak in your ears, and listen to what your servant says. Please! My lord shouldn’t pay any attention to this worthless fellow Naval (Nabal), because he is just like his name – ‘Naval’ means ‘boor’, and his boorishness stays with him. But I, your servant, did not see my lords men, whom you sent. Therefore, my lord, as Adonai (the Lord God) lives, and as you live, inasmuch as Adonai has kept you from the guilt of shedding blood and from taking vengence into your own hands – therefore, may your enemies and anyone seeking your harm be as worthless as Naval. Meanwhile, let this present which your servant has brought to my lord be given to the men in my lord’s service. And please forgive the offense your servant has caused; because Adonai will certainly establish my lord’s dynasty, for my lord fights Adonai’s battles, and nothing bad has been found in you all your life long. Even if someone comes along searching for you and seeking your life, your life will be bound in the bundle of life with Adonai your God. But the lives of your enemies, He will fling away as if from the pouch of a slingshot. Then, when Adonai has done all the good to my lord that He has said about you and made you ruler over Israel, what happens here will not become an obstacle to you or cause for remorse to my lord, neither that you shed blood without cause nor that my lord took vengeance into his own hands. Finally, when Adonai has dealt with my lord, then remember your servant.”
Such beauty contained in these scriptures! May the women who are called by Adonai be like Abigail at heart, as the men called by Adonai be like David.
For the women:
This example is profound in Abigail’s reflection of being in this world but not of it. Notice how she “covers” the offense of Nabal by taking responsibility. Yet she does not live in denial to do this. She identifies Nabals weakness. Yet she does not have a condemning spirit. She acts in the spirit of “those who make peace” . More to the point on the Lord God’s honor. So many have broke this woman down in the light of her negligent and abusive husband. But see Abigail is no victim to either her circumstance or her husband’s behavior! Why? Because her wounds are constantly being tended by Adonai. Hence she has no resentment and feels no entrapment within her marriage. What she sees is only the service to her Lord. When God is our comfort and strength we are able to do all Yeshua instructs us within His words in Matthew 5 & 6. Turning the other cheek, serving with joy even those who hurt and wrong us, seeing a need and running immediately to meet it with the resources God provides. Her love and undeterred devotion to God is what shines here. Her relationship with Him is evident in her words and her actions. Humility, Patience, long-suffering, love that covers multitudes of wrongs. ..Trust unwavering in God who will act justly on behalf of her, David, Nabal, the servants, and Davids men. When God meets a need it is always met in spades. .. complete.
Abigail wasn’t running to David for rescue. .. she didn’t need to be. Adonai had already rescued her in the most complete way.
For the men:
See here David is in a moment where his prior weakness of quick temper. .. however justified. .. could either submit to the lead of Adonai through a woman or not. David recognized his God’s spirit and heart and therefore listened to the words from which the mouth poured forth. Gender wasn’t even considered. Not till after anyway… and then David was wise enough to ask for her hand in marriage. David too, could have played victim to Nabal’s abuse but instead let Adonai take care of Nabal how He saw fit.
There are times when circumstances are well within a righteous justice to act and run into battle. None of us can take our cues from what we see and know. God does battle here but not with human retaliation… but with humble appeal. Both David and Abigail were fought for by the very hand of God. But no blood was spilt. God provides for David and his men, provides for Abigail, and His glory is maintained in His plan for David to become what Adonai said he would… in His timing… His way. Noone was a victim to life and its abuses… all were taken care of by Adonai. The battle took place where even today, God performs His mightiest battles. .. within the hearts of His people. On this “ground” He always wins. The acts He performs outside that territory never compares. Though it proves His faithfulness to many watching with external eyes. God love’s the most to prove His faithfulness to us personally, right there inside our hearts and minds! Where He changes us from within andthat change effects all without.We grow more and more assured of Him by His work within us than a thousands years of work around us.
Integrity within; as God communes and teaches us His way outshines the Sun by pointing to His Son. This is The Way.
Grace and peace in Yeshua the Messiah