Parental Perplexities – Part 4 – Honor

August 10, 2012 at 1:34 am (WSGD Newes)


Deuteronomy 5:16
Honor your father and mother, as Adonai (the Lord) your God ordered you to do, so that you will live long and have things go well with you in the land Adonai your God is giving you.

This verse may seem to be a bit out of “context” to the theme of ‘getting to see and know God as our Father’. I ask for some forbearance, as I promised to share a secret in part 3. It will take a little “rewinding” but trust that it shall come to a clear conclusion, emphasis on clear.

The above verse comes as a “package” of 10. The 10 Commandments. The first set of guides and instruction, or advice given by God Himself. The first parameter’s of God/human, human/human relations. Indeed, the original manuscript of the “best of” in human abilities to walk with God. If we do these, “get” them…God is honored and all things follow to be honored because He is.

Deuteronomy 4:10
“…the day you stood before Adonai (the Lord) your God at Horev (Horeb), when Adonai said to me, ‘Gather the people to Me, and I will make them hear My very Words, so that they will hold Me in awe as long as they live on earth, and so that they will teach their children.

I think it’s very important to set the word honor in it’s God-intended context. At least where it is used in Deut. 5:16. In the western mind set this word has become the definition for respect. Respect in this regard in the more modern mind has morphed into esteem, merit, credit and recognition of authority that is given without any value to leadership that has “earned” or “proven” itself worthy of said merit or credit. The point here is to say that the word honor here is not about the father or mother we are being instructed to “honor”. All the commandments are about honoring God, 1st and foremost. In other words if we steal, our worst offense in doing so is that we have dishonored God. The rest follow the same prescription. God alone has earned and can be merited with absolute honor, in this case, deference, homage, obeisance (acts and gestures of submission or humility), and reverence…WORSHIP. Obviously, this commandment is not asking us to honor our human parents, as if they were gods. This would be a contradiction to the 1st commandment, to honor the Lord God and Him only. The problem can happen when we fail to see that the word honor does not mean the same in both commands. This is where understanding Gods original language (Hebrew) becomes paramount in our studying of Gods Word. Though that is not my point, we must all come to our own conclusions of how deep or important our studies go. This emphasis is hugely important for clarity’s sake. The father who beats the snot out of his child has not earned the respect of loving his child with tenderness. There are absolutely ways we as humans must earn respect. God, however, has never, will never, can not ever beat the snot out of His child. His character, who He IS, at the very heart of Him, is not capable of such dishonorable behavior. So here, in the commandment to honor our father and mother we must know what He means by honor. Simply put He means, don’t devalue or discount that He, God, made them your father and mother. He could’ve put us in anyone’s womb, used any mans fertility to conjoin and make us. Everything He does has purpose and meaning and is the BEST. So He asks us to remember our honoring of Him, by not failing to count our human parents as very important and significant to our lives and His purpose for us. Both their failures and their positive attributes He WILL use for our betterment in knowing Him. If we let Him :-). He is not saying we must respect abusiveness in our parents or anything that tears down trust. He is saying “Trust Me, I have something beautiful to teach you in this parent, inspite of their failure of you. Continue to remember I have given you this man or woman as your father and mother, love them and trust Me.”  Our parents fail us, critically and incredibly, but God does not! His choice for us is always perfect. Since we do not have any part in the choice of our parents, who they are, will be, and will become – it is glaringly obvious that God alone makes this choice. There are those who can easily honor God for His choice for us. For some, it becomes a matter of willful and constant faith (a choice to believe despite what we have experienced) in Him to believe He gave us our very BEST in them. I pray we see the significance of this distinction being made in this commandment. For as I have repeatedly tried to emphasize in parts 1,2, and 3, how we view our parents is very important to how we come to Jesus, and our Father God.

John 5:19-23
Therefore, Yeshua (Jesus) said this to them: “Yes, indeed! I tell you that the Son cannot do anything on His own, but only what He sees the Father doing; whatever the Father does; the Son does too. For the Father loves the Son and shows Him everything He does; and He will show Him even greater things than these, so that you will be amazed. Just as the Father raises the dead and makes them alive, so too the Son makes alive anyone He wants. The Father does not judge anyone but has entrusted all judgement to the Son, so that all may honor the Son as they honor the Father. Whoever fails to honor the Son is not honoring the Father who sent Him.

How can the above scripture have meaning and become life changing when the proper understanding of honor has been so obscured? Or if we place any human frailty upon the Father? If we don’t explore and allow the Son, to show us, as if for the first time, who has actually been our Father from the very beginning of time? It takes a going back, into our earliest conceived notions of what God has instructed, of how we were instructed and taught as children, and how we have concluded all that together in our own way, to be re-taught by the Son how we can be born again. And then we start being Fathered again as if we are small babes, through infantry, adolescent hood, teenage hood, young adult to mature, but this time by Perfection.

He is not in a hurry, there’s no rush to press Him…He now has eternity to be our Daddy :-). The constraints of time that so slip through our hands as parents don’t apply in the Kingdom of Heaven.

What an amazing, awesome God! What a dramatically different perspective this can make in our approach to our Father. I praise Him more each day, that His ways are not our ways, His thoughts are not anything like our own. That He bends down to teach, instruct, guide, and lead with compassion, mercy, grace and love. I pray my own children will see this secret hidden in the folds of His Word, seek Him as deeply as He can be found, and that His reshaping of their hearts will mold them into His children. I praise Him that our faults as parents have been designed to exact detailed purposes by Him, for their best and ours too! It gives such hope, courage to go on, and meaning to absolutely everything! What a secret!

Grace and peace in Yeshua the Messiah 🙂



  1. sevv61 said,

    wonderful insight. i have be moved and reminded to look at these relationships in my life. Thank you.


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