What Love Reveals about Self-Loathing – Part 1

May 6, 2015 at 1:55 am (Mile Stones, WSGD Newes) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )


I’m the kind of gal that doesn’t do well with the concept of someone or something being “too far gone”. Cause I know, I know it deep down and deep within – the Creator of all things, all Life can do anything. He can melt the hardest of hearts and likewise take the softest heart and turn it space rock hard. I also know, He doesn’t see the two as opposites like I do. If He does one with nothing but love in mind, He does the other with the same love. Love, as in the Person, God, Yahweh, the Great I Am, Father of Yeshua (Jesus), Abba to all, Beginning, End – Love. Love is, God is… 1 Corinthians 13. It’s His character, His autobiography, His personality portfolio, His method of operation, His beginning, His end, God is love. There is no such thing apart from Him. If you see it, and say it’s love – there He is. I’m driving the point hard. It’s because it’s never really driven in hard enough, I think.

People say to other people,

“God loves you.”

It’s cliche, and ninety percent of the time, at best we respond with a good deal of gratitude and relief, at worst – most of us – if we’re honest – don’t know how to hear beyond the screams of self-loathing. For this is the voice that seeks to “teach us” what love is, and does from the moment we take our first breath for Love. This putrid evil disguised as love, who is the leader of the armies against heaven. Thus each and every human beings’ enemy for the length of their life, as well, in the fallen world, waiting and groaning for her Warrior Creator to come again and cast the enemy out for good.

So I’m watching a show about a horse trainer and out comes this horse. This horse is dreadful, it hasn’t been abused as in kicked and starved, it has simply been treated like a hard luck case from colthood, pampered and felt sorry for, until finally he had to be put off by himself – full of self-loathing. The trainer was known for his miraculous ways with the most awful of cases. Everyone is thinking “Now we get to see what this trainer is made of.” Yet in the end, the horse gets put down. I was angry, disappointed and felt some deep sense of injustice. I’m sure the trainer had some sorting to do too. Not because of ego, but because his heart understood all too well the lot of such a creature and wished just a little bit that he was the god with horses everyone made him out to be.

This series will be a hard one for me. I’m giving up a habit that I literally have been doing my whole life. I’m about five days in, and the mirror reflects what the habit has been covering up for so long. A self loathing I didn’t (and still don’t) think was possible deep down inside for one who knows and walks with Love Himself. It seems like an impossibility. Today Love (Adonai) showed me, hatred and self loathing are not the same. Self loathing left unloved and unchanged will inevitably become hatred though. Hence the reason, God is Love. The truth of all things gets a jolt when God moves in to teach. Trust and love are the same coin in heaven. Here on earth we think they are two separate things. Matters of the heart and soul in God’s economy are paramount. Life outside those realities is as insignificant as the weather. Rain or shine, life goes on. Looks are deceiving, one can look alive and living on the surface and be dead bones inside. Only the breath of the Living Savior can breathe life back into the interior world of death called self-loathing.

This series is for those out there that know the pain of this hellish compatriot. Those who know the touch and call of the Messiah, yet still feel this thorn in the flesh on a regular basis. I believe Adonai wants to breathe into us a new Love. Not that anything about Him is old, as in not sufficient or worn out, but that truly He is like the mercies He promises, new every morning. Perfect Love cast out fear. At the heart of every hurt, habit, hangup, or blemish within is – fear like a companion sent to bare us up to Love Himself. Indeed all things that don’t hang on the tree of Life, are inevitably turned to face it and recognize itself in its intended form, before the voice of the enemy twisted it and we took it in and it became the opposite of what was intended. Hence why the scripture is true

All things work together for the good of those who Love God and are called according to His proposes.” – Romans 8:28

So what is the difference between self-loathing and hatred?

Isn’t self-loathing akin to the “denying of one’s self” that’s spoken of in scripture?

Is it possible to loath ones self and still love God? Accept the Son, follow Him, and still loath one self?

What exactly does it mean? “Perfect love cast out fear”?

These are the questions I will be pursuing, as He is pursuing me from within them.


♡ Grace and Shalom in Yeshua the Messiah ♡

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Speaking of Which…

January 10, 2015 at 1:05 am (WSGD Newes) (, , , , , , , )


Matthew 7:28-29

When Yeshua (Jesus) had finished saying these things, the crowds were amazed at the Way He taught, for He was not instructing them like their Torah-teachers but as One who had authority Himself.

Luke 4:32

They were amazed at the Way He taught, because His Words carried the ring of authority.

John 7:30-32

At this, they tried to arrest Him; but no one laid a hand on Him; because His time had not yet come. However, many in the crowd put their trust in Him and said, “When the Messiah comes, will he do more than this Man has done?”
The P’rushim (pharasee’s) heard the crowd whispering these things about Yeshua; so the head cohanim (high priest) and the P’rushim sent some of the temple guards to arrest Him.

John 14:12

Yes, indeed, I tell you that whoever trusts in Me will also do the works I do! Indeed, he will do greater ones, because I am going to the Father.

Is it possible to speak with authority and the Word of God woven in and around every word you say; without quoting a scripture word for word?

Yeshua’s every Word was exactly that. Though He did quote a scripture at times. Every single Word He said can be found in the Old Testament (the only scripture at the time He was here).

The apostle Paul (Saul-his name was never changed officially to Paul – Paul is the greek pronunciation of Saul) did. Try to find word for word the Old Testament saying “I do the things I don’t want to do and the very thing I want to do I can not do!” There is an Old Testament rendition of these words: do you know where to find them?

When one speaks up for God, at His direction, we are to make sure it lines up with scripture starting in the Old Testament and following it straight through to Yeshua’s Words we now enjoy as the New. Not necessarily the disciples or those that followed. Wait! Don’t close this post just yet. Follow me here a moment, using the Spirit of Yahweh as your guide. I am not devaluing the disciples or apostles words! I am only saying the buck stops at Yeshua because in the Old Testament every word is about Yeshua and God the Father. The disciples and apostles that followed point back to Yeshua!

So the order of our testing or checking looks something like this.
Genesis > on through to Malachi > Matthew > Mark >Luke > John > Revelation (every word here is spoken directly by Yeshua to John) > Acts 1:1-11 (where we see we are spoken to directly with Yeshua’s words again and the two men from heaven in verse 11) > Acts 1:12 – Jude. There is a Spirit of the Words of God. They carry authority, Light, Truth, Food (manna from heaven), Living Water, Life. They have the same “sound” or “ring” as the Torah (teachings/instructions) found in the Torah (Genesis-Deuteronomy) which in New Testament terms would be called The Way, The Truth, and The Life, because no one came to the Father except through the Law (Torah/Instructions) at the time before Yeshua. Hence why John qualifies in his first chapter that Yeshua was/is the Word. Yeshua was the fulfillment of every Word in the Torah and Prophets (Old Testament). Those who came to trust in Him only had the Old Testament as scripture to validate Him and His works and claims. When they went back they saw the Word of God as true. The New Testament was not “available” for roughly another 100 years. No one had been able to with absolute accuracy pin point exactly when; as the New Testament was written in the form of letters and diary like accounts and floated and was copied and passed down until it’s “official” canonization around 300 -500 years after Yeshua ascended. It’s first printing becoming available to the common man or public, in 1600’s. Of which the Catholic church was the authority on which letters and documentations became worthy of being called The New Testament. (Which I believe that Adonai Himself over-saw and made really). I do believe those that didn’t make it into what we call the Bible now still holds truth and validity.

Book of Jasper mentioned in Joshua 10:13; 2 Samuel 1:18

Book of Samuel the Seer
Book of Nathan the Prophet
Book of Gad the Seer
Prophecy of Abijah
mentioned in 1 Chronicles 29:29.

Story of the Prophet Iddo mentioned in 2 Chronicles 13:22 and His Book of Visions in 2 Chronicles 9:29

Book of Jehu mentioned in 2 Chronicles 20:34

Sayings of the Seers mentioned in 2 Chronicles 33:19

Book of Enoch mentioned in Jude 1:14.

There are many more but I will leave you to do your own research. They can be found by doing a search for the Apocrypha, Deuterocanonical, Pseudepigrapha books not canonized for the Bible. I mention these few so that you may see that there is validity to some by their mere mention in the Bibles we enjoy today.

There are reports that scrolls and scrolls have been found that include the account of the blind from birth beggar Yeshua healed with clay on his eyes, many in Bethlehem at His birth, others healed by Yeshua mentioned namelessly in the Bible, Lazarus, and those who were raised from the dead and many many more. Absolutely capable of truly existing. If so, no doubt God counts every word as testimony of His Work. We know that John says that if every word were written down of all Yeshua did while He was here they would be more than all the books in the world then and I believe today as well. There would be no containing them! I alone could write a few of my own testimony to the Truth and Way and Life of Yeshua the Messiah, God the Father and the Holy Spirit’s work in my own life! Some days could be a volume all is own! Indeed every word found on this blog is such a testimony. Sometimes just posting Scriptures, some in poetic form, some in teaching, some in reflection much like Psalms. The question always remains… who are the Words pointing to and do they have the same Spirit and/or “ring” as those we find in the Book we are to test everything with? That is left up to two things. If one is given eyes to see, ears to hear, and a heart to understand. And if the Messiah Yeshua is the dweller in your “house” or not. Both of which are one and the same but can be contrasted by the maturity of the Follower. If a babe, some material will be too “meaty” and likely disregarded. If the Follower is more and more in unity with Messiah and the Father, some of the material here may seem trivial or like milk rather than meat.


The point of all this is…
To poke at the center of all thought and give a perspective of not staying within “taught only” by churches or men how to know God’s voice. Yeshua spoke radically different than any before Him, Paul too spoke words with newness and difference than anyone preceding him. I could name a few authors/teachers who’s voices cried out in the wilderness with much of a different style and flavor as any in the Bible but can, when tested and compared be validated as Followers of Yeshua intimidate with the Father and worthy of study and application.

God has proved down through the Sands of time to adapt His speech to match the times they were spoken in and cultures they were sent to. Yeshua spoke in parables that were immersed into the times and culture He spoke to and those who had come before Him. Likewise with Paul, Timothy, Titus and many many others. Are you able to fall back simply on God’s Word spoken to you that may not be word for word written in the folds of the Bible but still backed up by it? This is a question I rarely see any “leaders” asking today. I think it may be part of why the body of Yeshua has reached a stunt in its growth. We are evangelizing but not making disciples. Do you hear God speaking into the times you live in? You are needed to teach others that He wants to do the same. Are you mentoring? Each one of us are called to do this. To make disciples, not to evangelize. See for yourself.

Matthew 28:19-20

Therefore, go and make people from all nations into talmidim (disciples/followers), immersing them into the reality of the Father, the Son and the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit), and teaching them to to obey everything I have commanded you. And remember! I will be with you always, yes, even until the end of the age.

Matthew 13:51-52

“Have you understood all these things?” “Yes.” they answered. He (Yeshua) said to them, “So then, every Torah-teacher who has been made a talmid (disciple/follower) for the Kingdom is like the owner of a home who brings out of his storage room both new things AND old.”


Why don’t we see God’s people doing more than Yeshua did as He said we would? Why is there such a fear of saying anything that isn’t strictly already written? Where would we be if Yeshua hadn’t done more, or Paul or countless others that seem to stop somewhere in the 1800’s? These questions should rend the heart of every follower of Yeshua today. I will stand up and ask the questions. I will bring these new things and old out of my storehouse given by the mercies and grace of God. Will you?


Grace and peace in Yeshua the Messiah

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God’s Care

October 21, 2014 at 12:43 am (Thoughts to Ponder, WSGD Newes) (, , , , , , , , , , )


A nurse in a hospital could testify/witness to the Masterfulness of God’s careful attention of us. Words can not touch the detail of His care. If the nurse has 10 patients to care for; and each patient’s state is in need but not critical – they would find themselves with a full load of nurture and tasks to keep them busy for a full shift. Let all 10 patients become critical at once – and nurse must call for help; they simply could not tend to each in such a state by themselves.

Witness: words or actions that speak from experience (living action within).
Testify: words that recount what one has seen or observed.
God’s intent is to make us witnesses to the testimony we have heard.

The God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob; Adonai, Elohim, Jehovah – He tends to each and every living thing with such detail and in every state of being. Let that sink in a bit.

Each – and – every – livingthing; stars, grass, weeds, bushes, trees, air, roots, every creature – airborne/waterborne/land-dwellers, crawling, creeping, running, leaping, burrowing, flying, nesting, hunting. Then each child – each human – which He claims as His special work of art. Billions upon billions in “critical condition” – all individually with exacting care. He is the first to notice a need and sends forth the remedy without delay.

Here is the most astounding thing to me. When He meets one individual need, it fulfills the needs of everyone that one effects – everything that one effects. Spirit and soul care is a Divine Job, and only the Kingdom of Heaven can dispatch its nurture. The task of physical and emotional needs are the easiest of task to God. He can use all people (whether they believe in Him or not) to tend anything or anyone. I, Lisa, a servant of Jehovah, by the grace of Yeshua (Jesus), in the strength of the Spirit testify and witness to these things.

The next time worry or stewing over a need comes – read again the words of witness that speak of why worry and stewing are thieves of His Joy.
(Ps. 148; Ps. 145; Ps. 136; Ps. 68:19-20; Ps. 65:9-13; Ps. 104:19; Gen. 8:22; Dan. 2:20-22; Jer. 5:24; Matt. 5:44-48; John 1:1-5; Acts 14-17; Col. 1:17)

Before the words form upon our lips- He knows each care. His dispatch is assured and precise. Ask immediately to have your eyes opened to His special touch. Look at Yeshua – who being ignored, ridiculed, tortured and broken – knew the Father was meeting an un-countable unfathomable number of needs – soul needs – at every moment. Covering each sin with the agony and blood of His Son – for all time. Let that sink in. In those moments… all of heaven was stretching the most crucial of care – forward and backward in time making eternity possible for the finite. Sin and all its effects are now under the dominion of Yeshua. We could literally lose every ability within our human bodies – but that one cure can never be compared. Hence we are whole.
He is called the Great Physician – but we must take out the image of a human doctor from our minds to fully understand what makes Him great. No human doctor holds the cure to anything. God may use them in His dispatch but they are as susceptible to those diseases and illnesses as the patient he or she treats. God will never “catch a cold”. His exposure to Ebola or any form of fleshly decay heals the very nature of its mission. It is humanly impossible to even imagine such power. Yet, we can “see” it – have seen it. Always when Yeshua healed someone physically – He first had to cure their inner blindness to the real disease that ate at them. When suffering and hardship comes upon us – our greatest vulnerability is always inner blindness. A sort of leprosy of soul. That which shrinks God down into the smallness of our vision, our limitations, our incompleteness. Us without Him – the opposite of His Name – God with us; Emmanuel. God can start a car without an engine; no gas. God can heal a wound by infecting it. God can change all the “rules” we live by and turn them inside out and make them more effective. In His Kingdom – gravity pulls everything to Him – up, down, side to side, wherever He is that is where “the drop” is. We live forever in Him because He makes all things new. This word – new – means something not known before – new; undiscovered, now dis-covered. Not new as in an old car verses a new car. He can make an old car new. Not by hours of labor replacing old parts persay. By one thought from His mind restoring years of old living into the undecayable – unrustable – never to break or run out of gas again – NEW!

It says He does this with His mercy. Ponder that with Him – and let Him open your eyes to the amazing NEW world you have been reborn into. His Love is a faithfulness outlined in grace. His healing is Forgiveness inviting us to His place.


Lamentations 3:21-23
But in my mind I keep returning to something, something that gives me hope – that the grace of Adonai is not exhausted, that His compassion has not ended. On the contrary, they are new every morning! How great Your faithfulness!

Isaiah 33:2
Adonai, show us mercy; We have waited for You. Be their arm every morning, and our salvation in time of trouble.

Zephaniah 3:5
Adonai, who is righteous, is there among them; He never does anything wrong. Every morning He renders His judgment, every morning without fail; yet the wrong doer knows no shame.

2 Corinthians 5:17-19
Therefore, if anyone is united with the Messiah, he is a new creation – the old has passed; look, what’s come is fresh and new! And it is all from God, who through the Messiah has reconciled us to Himself and has given us the work of that reconciliation, which is that God in the Messiah was reconciling mankind to Himself, not counting their sins against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.

Hebrews 12:27-29
And this phrase, “one more time”, makes clear that the things shaken are removed, since they are created things, so that the things not shaken may remain. Therefore, since we have received an unshakable Kingdom, let us have grace, through which we may offer service that will please God.

Revelation 21:5
Then the One sitting on the Throne said, “Look! I am making everything new!”


Grace and peace in Yeshua the Messiah

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Young Love

August 27, 2014 at 2:48 am (Remodeling the Mind, Thoughts to Ponder) (, , , , , , , , , , , )


1 John 4: 7-10

Beloved friends, let us love one another; because love is from God; and everyone who loves has God as his Father and knows God. Those who do not love, do not know God; because God is love. Here is how God showed His love among us; God sent His only Son into the world, so that through Him we might have Life. Here, is what love is: not that we have loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the kapparah (sacrifice) for our sins.

1 Corinthians 13: 8-10; 12-13

Love never ends; but prophesies will pass, tongues will cease, knowledge will pass. For our knowledge is partial, and our prophecy partial; but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass.

For now we see obscurely in a mirror (His image in us), but then it will be face to Face. Now I know partly; then I will know fully, just as God has fully known me.
But for now, three things lasttrust, hope, love; and the greatest of these is love. Pursue Love!

The conscience whose only pursuit is to know God; that is – that the purpose of one’s desire to be pure is that the obscurity of vision become clearer and clearer to see the Son; no other engine drives the vehicle of passion to conform to His image. The consciousness of self grows old and dies every minute; while the consciousness of God grows as young as the world was being given birth. Young as He is and ever shall be. Youth as we know it is ever a state of growing older; partial. But youth as God does; perpetual. Only as a “child” do we come to know God. As “adults” we can only know of Him. The more we think we know of Him; the further away we become to Him and begin to decay. To know Him; in experience with relationship with Him; our very DNA is changed from decay to Life. .. full of its greatest potential. .. to beget more Life.

He/She who has ears; let them hear. ..


Grace and peace in Yeshua the Messiah

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Glimpses Unveiled

March 25, 2014 at 2:32 am (Devotionals, Poems, Remodeling the Mind) (, , , , , , )


I see with eyes unlaced with sound
And hear with ears outlined profound
As fingers grasp the touch and feel
Of time and space unkept but real

A ticking motion of silent stay
A sunrises up on a distant day
Where moons and stars and planets play
In the Hands of Eternal songs array

Aloft upon the end of death
From whence came forth the first real breath
All likeness and reflections true
The boundless beauty of knowing You

The garden spread in unfathomable feast
And holy clothed both man and beast
All caught up and held in Love
Their counting beats born from Above

No need for wondering the countless things
That pulls together the vocal strings
Of worship played by by creations call
Encapsulated within the thrall

Every sense impregnated by Life
Separated from unknown strife
All dumb and naive to any pain
A Presence revealed by upside down rain

The force of down recounts the flight
Of leaps and bounds in Heaven’s night
Blinding clarity surrounds the Light
That holds both like lover’s in the heights

An intimate weave of breath and bone
The Unfettered Love that calls us Home
United finally drenched in Blood
Springs of Living Waters that flood

Down upon this anxious time
Of veiled but real and unstoppable truth
Full of leaps of Mighty faith as proof
The unaccountable Word set forth

Mysterious and crisp a dream never sleeps
Of the future glimpse the Timekeeper keeps
Beyond the limits of sight and sound
I stand upon Your Holy ground


Grace and peace in Yeshua the Messiah

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