Little Lessons
The sun was setting when Nichole stepped outside, wrapping her shawl around her shoulders. She sighed… squinting she looked up and saw the last of the day outlined in trees against the molten blue sky. The sound of tinkling reached her ears from the barn now backed by a horizon with stars beginning to take over the duty of lighting the country side. The contrast wasn’t lost on Nikki as she started towards the barn. Mikayla had just moments ago ran from the dinner table with tears brimming after being excused. At nine years old, Mikki had an old soul. Often called sensitive in a negative way. Yet she didn’t seem to notice much how people took her in. A quality Nikki regretted adults grow out of. Most anyway. As she approached the door she leaned in to listen to the tinkling now more like jingles, Mikki’s little voice was set to the sing song tune of wooing. Nikki smiled, she’s at the task of perfecting her cat taming again. She pushed the door just enough to squeeze in but keep the well worn creak from ensuing. Mikayla sure enough was crouched down by a bale of hay. Her little body still with only her fingers swaying a string with old rusty jungle bells she’d dug up last week in the garden.
“Awwwwrr…Backster you know you want to be brave and pounce this string of annoying bells.” Mikki coo’ed. The black cat with white tips on his ears and white whiskers to compete could barely be seen under the bench with crates a couple yards away. He must have caught Nikki’s scent for he fled like a breeze a moment later. Nikki winced. Mikki’s shoulders dropped in a sigh of resignation and frustration. She turned and look up at her Mother, the tears dried now in powdery lines on her cheeks.
“I almost had him… he isn’t afraid of me anymore. Just things.” Mikki swung her legs underneath her to sit Indian style. Nikki sat on the bale of hay.
“He’s still afraid of most people though. I’m sorry I scared him away.” She took a lock of Mikki’s hair and twirled it down her pointer finger.
“It’s okay. Tomorrow is better.” Mikki looked up. She had this way of looking at you that made you wonder how childhood and adulthood could possess a stare at the same time. Too often Nikki was caught fumbling for words due to this stare.
“What sent the tears to your eyes at the dinner table Mik?” Direct was best with Mikki.
Mikayla pulled her head away causing the tendril of hair to fall away from Nikki’s fingerings.
“I don’t understand love.” New pools of the hearts overflow began to quiver in Mikki’s eyes.
Nikki knew better than to put more voice to the conversation. She slid down next to Mikki and crossed her legs out in front of her.
“If love is the answer to fear going away, why doesn’t my love bring Toby towards me? Mikki asked.
Toby is the year old pup that Mikki had been trying to get to be her best pal since she first set eyes on him. Instead, it seemed Mikayla’s brother Jonas was Toby’s chosen pal. Nikki smiled. And waited.
Mikki sniffed and brushed her tears away with the back of her hand. “I feed Toby, I bring him treats and toys, I don’t push myself on him or fuss him, I plan his games and walk him but Jonas comes in, sits at the table and Toby runs and lays at his feet. He sleeps with him, he follows him, but Jonas doesn’t love Toby like I do. He hardly even notices him! Why, mama, why doesn’t Toby want to be my buddy?” The fullness of the nine year old little girl began to sob.
Nikki pulled Mikki into her lap and began to sway and console. “Ahhh, Mik, Toby loves you. I’m sorry he hasn’t chosen you as you so wanted. It hurts when we invest our hearts and it feels second to those who don’t seem to. Shhh… there… let it out.” Nikki enclosed Mikayla’s small frame into her arms and chest. Mikki let out another sob and began to let the motherly love melt her.
“I still don’t understand why love doesn’t do what Jesus said.” The small voice, truly confused came moments later.
“What do you mean? Nikki asked
“It says, perfect love cast out fear. But my love doesn’t with Toby and it is taking so long with Backster.” The now old soul encased in this nine year old body began to come back.
“That’s an interesting way to look at it. I don’t think Toby was ever afraid of you, Mik. She just has a liking for Jonas. It’s like when you see ice cream and cake and prefer to have the cake. It doesn’t mean you’re afraid of the ice cream. It’s just how God made you, with certain likes and lesser likes. Now…Backster… well he has come far with you, you just said so. He still runs from everyone else but if you are the only one around he stays.” Nikki turned Mikki towards her and pulled her chin up so that she could see into those green eyes. “Love, dear one, is about giving, not getting. Love gives without needing anything to be given back. It says perfect Love cast out fear Mik, not our love. Only Jesus love is perfect because He never expects us to return it. But you can see, in your own heart how you want Toby to return your love and Backster. Yes?” Mikki looked for all the world like she had been shown her own sinful flesh. She bent her head.
“Yes, I can’t help but hope my love will make them like me.” The brown haired head turned up with wide green eyes. “But I love them even if they don’t. It just hurts when they don’t so I cry.” The matter of fact tone to Mikki always blew Nikki away. One minute childlike and humbled the next determined.
“Yes, Mik, we do love anyway. That how we know His Love is in us. But lessons of love – learning to love, that’s where we live most the time. The more we love and teach our hearts to not expect it in return, the more like Jesus we become, and the freer those we love are to return our love. Love is all about little lessons. Some days we don’t feel like we’re being taught, some days, when we see our love doesn’t get taken as we want, we hurt, we cry, we go to Jesus to help us understand Him, and He makes our hearts grow deeper in the teaching of love. Our hurt when loving actually makes us better at loving. Does that make sense?” Nikki and Mikki’s eyes locked and held for a long moment.
“God must have more lessons than anyone ever since He loves everyone so much and so many never take it like He gives!” Mikki smiled, then her face scrunched up with what could only be another old soul inquiry.
“Does God have lessons?” The next question flew out with wonder.
Nikki laughed, “well, I’m not sure about that but you know that song we sang this morning – give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, His love endures forever” Nikki sang. Mikki lit up and began to hum.
“It says it endures… do you know what that means? Nikki held the question out like a thing to be inspected.
“No…I guess I don’t. Mama, what does it mean?” Mikki came back after a moment of trying to answer.
It means something like when you do your homework, you do it and sometimes even like it but there’s always something else you’d rather be doing… so you endure the homework time but you would rather not have to. The part God endures is the rejection of His love… He could just do away with all who don’t love Him back but He doesn’t, He keeps loving them. It’s something like that. Make sense? Nikki asked.
Mikayla leaned back into her mother’s chest and was still for a few minutes. “So… the point to enduring is hope? Hope that everyone will know He loves them some day?”
It was Nichole’s turn to well up with tears. She hugged Mikki tighter and let the tears fall…”yes, my dear sweet Mik, it exactly something like hope.”
Renewing the Mind, Transforming the Heart
Deuteronomy 10:12
So, now, Israel, all that ADONAI your God asks from you is to fear ADONAI your God, follow all of His ways, love Him and serve ADONAI your God with all your heart and all your being.
Psalms 16:7-11
I bless, ADONAI, my counselor; at night my inmost being instructs me. I will always set ADONAI before me; with Him at my right hand, I can never be moved; so my heart is glad, my glory rejoices, and my body too rests in safety; for You will not abandon me to Sh’ol, You will not let Your faithful One see the Abyss. You make me know the path of life; in Your presence is unbounded joy, in Your right hand eternal delight.
Psalms 105:4
Seek ADONAI and His strength; always seek His presence.
Romans 12:10-11
Don’t let love be a mere outward show. Recoil from what is evil, and cling to what is good. Love each other devotedly and with brotherly love; set examples for each other in showing honor.
I John 3:18
Children, let us show love not with words and talk, but with actions and in reality!
Zephaniah 3:15-17
ADONAI has removed the judgements against you, He has expelled your enemy; the King of Israel, ADONAI, is right there with you. You no longer need to fear that anything bad will happen. On that day, it will be said to Jerusalem, “Do not fear, Zion! Don’t let your hands droop down. ADONAI your God is right there with you, as a Mighty Savior. He will rejoice over you and be glad, He will be silent in His love, He will shout over you with joy.”
✡ May Yeshua, who calls us faithfully each day to follow Him, show us truly how to live into His presence in all we do! ✡
His Question
Jeremiah 15:18
Why is my pain unending, my wound incurable, refusing to be healed? Will You be for me like a deceptive vadi, which is only sometimes filled with water?
I’m willing to bet that this question has passed through the heart of every human being – ever. You see, Jeremiah is conversing with God. Now I’m not saying that this question has been asked directly to God by each human. Hence, why so often the question goes unanswered to many. Just a little common sense: you don’t ask a dentist why your toe nail won’t grow correctly. Or the post office delivery driver why your faucet is leaking. The human condition – any human condition can only be answered by the One who MADE humans. Yes?
In the verse above Jeremiah asks, will You be for me like a deceptive vadi? Do you know what a vadi is? It’s a ravine meaning a place of refreshing, calm and peaceful. In essence he’s asking is this peace I find in You real? He’s asking because there’s no difference between his world and the content of confusion and chaos in it than ours today. The assault on the mind from without makes one wonder if that peace that surpasses our understanding given by the Spirit is real sometimes. It’s hard reality to be purposed inside for a Kingdom and physically live in another. Hence, the latter half of the question: which is only sometimes filled with water? One minute the strength of God flows from with us like a steady reliable current, the next it feels like our ravine enter drought territory and a sand bar has hung us up.
I think everyone has that thorn, like Paul, that we ask God to remove persistently. Why is my pain unending, my wound incurable, refusing to be healed? For some it’s the tendancy to sin in general, in whatever form it creeps in or out. For some it’s mental, fear, insecurity, anger, frustration, anxiety. For some it’s physical, illness, disease, chronic pain.
It’s hard not to want to find that doctor or counselor or program or life style or diet or hobby or….to fix it, change it, alter it’s course at the very least, here on earth where we see, touch, smell, feel with our physical bodies. It’s hard to really believe the One who created us would counsel, instruct, and have all the answers we need. It’s even harder when His answer is like Pauls: My grace is sufficient, My power made perfect in your weakness. How does one accept that The Maker of our person would purpose us to have weakness, those that cause pain and confusion?
What was His answer to Jeremiah?
This is ADONAI’S answer:
“If you return – if I bring you back – you will stand before Me. If you separate the precious from the base, you will be My spokesman. It will then be they who turn to you, not you who turn to them. Towards people I will make you a fortified wall of bronze – they will fight against you but not prevail against you; for I Am with you to save you and rescue you,” says ADONAI. “I will free you from the grasp of the wicked and redeem you from the clutches of the ruthless.” (Jer. 15:19-21)
Jeremiah’s thorn? To be God’s physical mouth piece in a world that didn’t want to hear from Him. What is God’s answer, “no problem let Me take you to those who want Me”? No. Only the promise that He would be with, save, rescue, free, redeem and strengthen Jeremiah to do what God made him for. He didn’t color coat the reality, (yep, they will fight against you, they will even come to you, still resistant, but they’ll come to you)
It’s a rather interesting calling, eh? Not unlike each of ours. Ever had someone come to you repeatedly with the same woes, you pray with and for, give scripture for encouragement and strength, listen and shine with your words the Light of Life: and they keep coming back – even display all sorts of human madness in their behavior towards you? At times belittling, gossiping, slandering you, but to your face they seem a friend? At times distancing themselves from you, and you wonder, will they ever really want to know ME? At times angry at you because you won’t “come their way” in your thinking? Is there any of these that God, Himself, doesn’t know far more intimately in experience with every human ever created? Including you? So how can He have the audacity to ask it of us? And not only ask us to experience all that but to forgive and remain faithful!? The question is, do we want to become more like Him or like the us we can be without Him. He is faithful and forgives beyond reckoning to our finite minds. It is possible to do as He does – but not without Him.
For this mitzvah which I Am giving you today is not too hard for you, it is not beyond your reach. It isn’t in the sky, so that you need to ask, ‘Who will go up into the sky for us, bring it to us and make us hear it, so that we can obey it?’ Likewise, it isn’t beyond the sea, so that you need to ask, ‘Who will cross the sea for us, bring it to us and make us hear it, so that we can obey it?’ On the contrary, the Word is very close to you – in your mouth, even in your heart; therefore, YOU CAN DO IT! ~ Deuteronomy 30:11-14
In all the search for purposes and meanings to one’s life, the search will end only when they find what Paul, Moses, Jeremiah (and the list goes on) found. That every thought, every function, every action – everything depended on the constant communication and obedience to the One who made them. That He was at the center of every question, and His answers were THE only answers. That doing as He did, does and what He tells them is THE purpose of their existence. That the vadi wasn’t deceptive – or only sometimes filled with water: the world around them is. Yes, that includes those “good things and people” in that world. Nothing can be completely relied upon but Him. Not family, not friends, not that great feeling of accomplishment in any thing on this earth, not romance, not adrenaline rushed fun, not hard work and persistence, not anything here, no concept of man for lasting peace and happiness. And heres the real kicker: not even your own process to having that relationship with God. He will change it up just to remind you: you don’t have what is needed to live life to the full here on your own. It’s all Him, dependant on Him – let Him go for one second and see how far you fall. Yet He’s faithfulness to teach us, His patience and great desire for us to be that connected to Him never ceases. We fall, always into His hands, we fly, always in His Spirit, we run, always in His strength, we forgive, always on the measure in which we receive His forgiveness, we speak His Truth, or we speak lies, we offer kindness, always on the kindness we experience from Him alone, we have compassion, always on our ability to see His compassion for us….we exist with purpose only based on the finding of that purpose IS Him!
It may sound boring or even incomprehensible to some. It is not, but the job of convincing is not ours. Jeremiah’s question is our question, his answer – our answer. It will not change with time, generations, cultures, fads, society, conditions on this earth. It has and always will remain the same:
“Who do you say that I Am?”
How can one answer such a question without knowing Him? Common sense alone teaches: to know something or someone, one must drive thru the halls of that thing or person forever, without quitting to really know them or it. They must have actual experiences with that thing or person. It is not something you can draw a conclusion to and categorize and file away. It’s living, moving, constant experience. Or it’s dead. Sacrifice comes in the form of giving up your right to define everything from your perspective. Sacrifice is love! The first and most important instruction from God?
“Sh’ma Yisrael! ADONAI Eloheinu, Adonai achad (Hear, Israel! ADONAI our God, ADONAI is one); and you are to love ADONAI your God with all your heart, all your being and all your resources. These words, which I Am ordering you today, are to be on your heart; and you are to teach them carefully to your children. You are to talk about them when you sit at home, when you travel on the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them on your hand as a sign, put them at the front of a headband around your forehead, and write them on the door-frame of your house and on your gates. ~ Deuteronomy 6:4-9
Notice the total consumption that this entails. It’s not once a day, once a week, even once an hour. It’s constant, continual.
For those who have a hard time undertaking the old Testament is one with the new.
“Rabbi, which of the mitzvot in the Torah is the most important?” He (Yeshua – Jesus) told them, “You are to love ADONAI your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” ~ Matthew 22:36-37
If sacrifice is love, as defined as above, then this first and most commandment would definitely demand an all consuming nature to constantly be giving up our perspective for His, in everything, in every second, in every circumstance, with everyone and everything we encounter, Forever!
What kind of depth do you allow for the kind of peace and contentment in this world in your living for God? How consuming is it? Is Jeremiah’s question your question? Are you asking the One who can answer? Will you accept with joy and purpose His answer no matter if it’s the one you want? Are you looking for your purpose for existing?
May you be found by Him, and know…
✡ Grace and peace to you, in the Name and person, Yeshua the Messiah, now and forever! ✡
The Fall into Self Absorption
In Hebrew, the phrase ‘the eyes of both of them were opened’ can be correctly interpreted in our English comprehension today as:
‘Then they became aware of themselves.’
Before this pivotal moment awareness of one’s self was non-existent. That is phenomenal! Notice closely how the second half of this verse confirms this.
‘So they sewed fig leaves together to make themselves loincloths.’
First of all fig leaf was a ridiculous choice of covering. Neither hardy nor even comfy. Later in verse 21, God makes them fitting cloths to accommodate their new self aware self. Sturdy and comfortable. Yet it cost an innocent life. Self absorption always cost a life! Secondly, they had never before this moment even thought to ‘make something for themselves’. It simply wasn’t needed, desired, or known; this idea of making something for oneself or of one’s self. They did die in that moment. Not from our human perspective after the fall. Death means one ceases to exist, physically present to touch and be. Yet to Adonai, the death was that now we had the capacity to live like we were the most important thing to consider. True life has no need to consider itself. This is why Yeshua was able to say so simply: “Do not consider/worry about what you will eat or what you will wear.” Really what He was saying was ‘don’t think about yourself.’ Self absorption kills life. Envy, jealousy, hatred, rage, greed; these things killed Yeshua, these things killed many and still do. These things are prime examples of how everything around one becomes all about them. Worry grows where contentment was planted. Considering oneself becomes the cancer, all of humanity was infected by it. There’s no scripture that says, think about yourself, not one. In every scripture that refers to a personal inventory, it’s God who is the one considering us, cleansing us, making us new. We are told to consider our actions, namely how they will – first of all reflect and effect Adonai, – secondly how they will effect others. How they effect us is determined by the result of Adonai and others coming before or after one own self. Most of us know it’s usually ugly if it’s after.
Let’s fast forward to the next pivotal moment. Where Yeshua (Jesus) points out the key to following Him.
John 15:9-14
Just as My Father has loved Me, I too have loved you; so stay in My love. If you keep My commands, you will stay in My love – just as I have kept My Father’s commands and stay in His love. I have said this so that My joy may be in you, and your joy be complete. This is My command: that you keep on loving each other just as I have loved you. No one has greater love than a person who lays down his life for his friends. You are My friends, if you do what I command you.
I say somewhat loosely that this is a pivotal moment. On one hand every Word that came from Yeshua’s lips was pivotal. Yet here we see Him adress the first pivotal moment in the beginning where self absorption took hold. No, He doesn’t mention Genesis 3. Not like we in our reference minded ways tend to do. From the Hebraic mind that moment was never needed to be recalled only on occasion. That moment was the focus of all misdeeds in the whole of history. It was never forgotten, always in the mind of those who sought after and followed the One True God. Yeshua spoke from history at every point in the present for the future. He covered every aspect of time in every Word He spoke. He is, was, and always will be infinite! Our minds do not naturally process this way. It requires the Holy Spirit to even begin to. Hence why so often Yeshua said, “He who has ears let him hear.” In essence He was anointing each soul at the moment to be opened, much like the eyes were opened at the fruit-fall but in reverse. To become more aware of one’s self will never be the goal of God’s Kingdom. Let your communion with God be where you get your revelation time for your own self – from His eyes only, who we are, what needs changed – there is no condemnation but more importantly – there’s no focus on one’s self. Self help is evil as there is no such thing. We could no more help ourselves than we can dance and the rain pours. If man kind wants to be ‘bettered’, to improve upon what they are in and of themselves, it will take God alone to conceive a new perception in the heart and mind of us all. For only in Him can our love become true love, our kindness true kindness, selfless and unaccounting.
I’ve known only a few people whom I would consider having been given the gift of love. It’s as natural as breathing for them to drop anything for someone without thinking of inconvenience or their own self. Without accounting what they do for who and especially with no expectation of any return. The majority of us, if honest, will admit that it takes work to weed those ugly things out with the help of the Spirit of God. Not that the joy Yeshua speaks of isn’t an instant reward. Most people I know really feel joy at helping another, giving to someone. Yet we must remember what the thief comes to steal in God’s Kingdom. Joy. How does he do it? By bringing back to mind awareness of self. Expectation creeps in, resentment erodes gratitude and begins to take account of time lost, energy expelled, feelings hurt, thank you’s not expressed, love not returned. In other words the fig leaves of self absorption begin to find their ways into our hands and not even a second has elapsed before we find we sew to cover what our God created soul automatically knows is shameful.
Look at the difference between these two pictures.
They say a picture speaks a thousand words. In application to what we’ve covered so far, what do these pictures say to you? It’s a lifestyle and total change in thinking in every way. The difference will astound you. One is community and selflessness. The other is convenience and self centered. One invest in the currency of the Kingdom of heaven, the other invest in the things that rust and moth destroy. One is the way of this world, my house, my life, my responsibilities, my needs, my timing, my opinion, my rights. One is the way of God in this world. Where we live, we have responsibilities, we have needs, we have time to give, energy to share. Where my heart is not settled until those around me are better fed than I.
What would the world be like, according to the Father and Yeshua’s ways? The question has been asked, written about, talked about forever. Yet we can not read, study and listen our way into application. What can you do to enter in, now, where you are, today? This is always the purpose of the question. The purpose of such writings and talks. Action, trust in action, love in action, our walk with God evident by what becomes a natural flow from the Spirit from our union with Yeshua. His coming is imminent. Yet, the mission, the call, – has not changed. We wait, we look for Him. But we do so by looking at others. The church is failing in this. The average Believer is failing in this. So the world looks like a empty plot with cranes lifting heavy objects into place for one person at a time, for physical comfort and individual needs and wants. Completely clueless of the neighbor, unaware of the Father’s heart breaking. The Father who made all things, for the purpose of love. Not self reliance.
I leave off with a small handful of the Word that shares this view. From the beginning of our Bible to the end, Adonai, over and over again, points to this fundamental element of His heart. It would be wise for anyone desiring to enter into that Heart to look every single one of them up and ask the Living Word to breath this life into their soul, to again go back to the garden – where self absorption was non-existent. Discovery of God and all He did, does and desires to do is the only thing that matters. May we all be shaped by the wind of His mouth in it! Again just like at the beginning – where He said: “Let there be Light!” And there was!
Galatians 6:2
Bear one another’s burdens – in this way you will be fulfilling the Torah’s true meaning, which the Messiah upholds.
Philippians 2:3-4
Do nothing out of rivalry or vanity; but, in humility, regard each other as better than yourselves – look out for each other’s interest not just your own.
1 John – the entire book.
Proverbs 21:21
He who pursues righteousness and kindness finds life, prosperity, and honor.
Proverbs 28:27
He who gives to the poor will lack nothing, but he who hides his eyes will get curses in plenty.
Proverbs 29:13
The poor and the oppressor have this in common: Adonai gives light to the eyes of both.
All of Matthew chapter 6.
All of Isaiah chapter 5.
Deuteronomy 10:12-21
So now, Israel, all that Adonai your God asks from you is to fear Adonai your God, follow His ways, love Him and serve Adonai your God with all your heart and all your being; to obey for your own good, the mitzvah (general principles for living) and regulations of Adonai which I am giving you today. See, the sky, the heaven beyond the sky, the earth and everything on it all belong to Adonai your God. Only Adonai took enough pleasure in your ancestors to love them and choose their descendants after them – yourselves – above all people’s, as He does today. Therefore, circumcise the foreskin of your heart; and don’t be stiff necked any longer! For Adonai your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great, mighty, and awesome God, who has no favorites and accepts no bribes. He secures justice for the orphan and the widow; He loves the foreigner, giving him food and clothing. Therefore, you are to love the foreigner, since you were foreigners in the land of Egypt. You are to fear Adonai your God, serve Him, cling to Him and swear by His Name. He is your praise and He is your God, who has done for you these great and awesome things, which you have seen with your own eyes.
Deuteronomy 15:7-11
If someone among you is needy, one of your brothers, in any of your towns in your land which Adonai your God is giving you, you are not to harden your heart or shut your hand from giving to your needy brother. No, you must open your hand to him and lend him enough to meet his need and enable him to obtain what he wants. Guard yourself against allowing your heart to entertain the mean-spirited thought that because the seventh year, the year of sh’mittah (release) is at hand, you would be stingy toward your needy brother and not give him anything; for then he may cry out to Adonai against you, and it will be your sin. Rather, you must give to him; and you are not to be grudging when you give to him. If you do this, Adonai your God will bless you in all your work, in everything you undertake – for there will always be poor people in the land. That is why I am giving you this order, ‘ You must open your hand to your poor and needy brother in your land.’
Micah 6:8
Human being, you have already been told what is good, what Adonai demands of you – no more than to act justly, love grace and walk in purity with your God.
I will forever be grateful the Lord led me to Mr. George McDonald’s writings. The best thing I’ve ever read about ‘Self’ has been written by his hand. See link below.
✡ May the grace and peace of Yeshua the Messiah be found in us, dying to ourselves and living fully in Him with each passing day in 2018! ✡
Unfolding My Wings One Day at a Time
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